Binky the Doormat

Guess Who's Back?

2009-05-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

Wow. Almost a year. Way to stick to something!

It's about 9:30am on a Sunday morning, Mother's Day actually. I'm sitting on my couch, in my apartment, listening to the coffee maker click in the kitchen, and embracing my total nerd-dom by watching "Battlestar Galactica." Milo is asleep on my bed. My feet are up. And I'm strangely content.

I made the decision all the way back in December to be happy. It was a long time coming. I guess I had started this when I moved to my new job. I realized things could be good in my life. I just had to be the one to make it happen. When Abby moved out, and Horrible Roommate moved in, it became clear to me that while getting my new job was certainly a large piece of the puzzle, I needed something else. So I moved out. And while that decision may come back and bite me in the ass in August, it was exactly what I needed. I live in a small studio in NYC, but it's my studio. All mine.

These days I generally just look around and think, ok, when is the other shoe going to drop? Because I'm so content. I just feel...happy. And it's bizarre. Because for years, while I was in the broad sense "ok," I wasn't really 100% there. I was still dealing with the aftershocks of D. I was trying to figure out who I was and where I was going. What I needed was to find a place where I could get to know myself again, to remember that I never had defined myself by a man, and would never do that again.

Thing is, I'm probably the most open to meeting someone right now. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm looking, or if I even really want it. Right now I'm loving having my own space (ok, Milo's space too). I wonder if on some level that isn't a good thing. Because the idea of someone coming in here and disrupting my peace...I don't know. It's hard for me to accept that. Yet I know deep down that if the right person showed up, I'd be ok. And if he doesn't show up? I'll be ok too.

So here I am. And here's my first blog post in forever. And maybe I'll actually try to write on this thing more because dammit, that felt good.

Someday My Prince Will Come

2008-07-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

But it's not this guy-Martin from the Bronx, apparently-who emailed me on Myspace (which by the way I'm debating just getting rid of entirely). This email has not been doctored in anyway. Enjoy.

whoaaaaaaaaaaa very beautiful lady, i bet u like blah blah blah lol because i know when u get that all the time it looses i guess meaning but i do say it with respect ,so i do hope that makes a dfference.
im here thanking god i aint get hurt i fell of a ladder at work, and well dont worry my butt broke the fall lol ,so im pretty much home rubbing my butt and nieces laughing at me lol.i do hope u having a better monday than me.
did u enjoy your 4th of july weekend???get back to me

If anyone can translate that into English, they win a prize.

UPDATE!

I think that signing into Myspace triggers something that makes all crazy people look at my profile, because I just received this!

My name is John, I am 43 years old, divorce with no children, I am 6'1", I am Chinese. I live in New york, I am a CEO of a major restaurant chain, I am financially secure. i enjoy fine dining, traveling, broadway show, and gambling, I never use online dating service before, therefore I really don't know what to say, if u have ant question about me, please feel free to ask, I will answer it as truthfully as I can. I don't know why u need to use online dating, a pretty, and attractive woman like yourself, u could have any man u want, u suppose to have a lot of boyfriend already. If we are a match, I promise I will treasure u, spoil u, and pamper u. I really hope to hear from u, if not, u have a nice day.

It just gets better and better.

That Was the Week That Was

2008-06-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

I've made it through my first week at my new job. I'm always nervous about saying anything about where I'm working. But I will say that there's a lot of potential here. My biggest issue has been that I've felt slightly overwhelmed by the whole thing. I've been questioning whether I'm truly qualified for this. I'm in ad sales, which I really don't have any experience in, and of course I'll be working with multi-million dollar companies. Granted, I'm a lowly sales coordinator, but even so. I'm trying to pretend like I know what I'm doing, and I hope I don't get found out, because something tells me this could be a really good thing for me.

I also took a perverse pleasure in the fact that my friend gave her notice at "Rhymes With the Cat." For whatever reason Pamps (the nickname given to our ineffectual vanilla boss-a former co-worker commented that she pictured him as a giant toddler in diapers, therefore "Pamps," short for Pampers) had a hard-on for her (only in the professional sense, he saved the personal lust for a different employee). He saw her as the second coming, although no one was quite sure why. I remember when she first started less than a year ago we all made an effort to keep our negative opinions to ourselves. We wanted her to see what was going on for herself. I think we were all pretty surprised at how quickly she got it. She IM'd me earlier in the week and told me that she'd received an offer from this new company, and that she was having a lot of guilt about giving notice. I told her to erase that guilt and do what was right for her, partially because it's the truth and partially because I want to see this company get what's coming to it.

And the best news of all this week was the arrival of Maya Katherine on Wednesday. This seemed to be the longest pregnancy in history. But from all appearances, my little Taco was worth the wait. I can't wait to meet her!

Now This is Happening

2008-06-19T05:41:00.000-07:00

In honor of tonight:

Also, check out this insanely amazing interview with Stephen Colbert.

http://stereogum.com/archives/video/stephen-colbert-uses-rems-accelerate-as-a-cod-piec_008698.html

Last Night

2008-06-15T06:13:00.000-07:00

Last night, you looked a little bit like Heath Ledger. I wasn't the only one who noticed it. Someone in the crowd behind me said it too. Perhaps it was the hat you decided to wear. It was a fedora-esq hat, something my grandfather might have worn, but you probably got it at some secondhand store in Brooklyn.

Sometimes I have a hard time being around you. Ok, always. I try and play it cool, but even after all these years, you rattle me. That's the only way I can describe it. I see you, and all of my supposed strength goes right out the window. I usually try my best to avoid looking at you at all, but I do make a point of at least saying hello. I won't let you know that you get to me, ever.

I tend to go back in time and think about those nights, years and years ago, when we wandered around the city after hours, stopping in darkened doorways and in front of the PATH station, kissing until someone made the inevitable "get a room" comment. I remember never feeling more beautiful and more confused on those nights. No one has ever evoked those conflicting emotions in me, not even D.

Will you always make me feel like this? Will I always feel both attracted to you and feel a seething hatred? Because sometimes I do. I hate you standing up there, mugging, dancing, being you. And with that, I still want to push you up against a wall and kiss that spot on your shoulder. Am I alone? Or does everyone have that one person who just will always bring them back, rattle them, make them question every step they've ever made. Maybe it's just me.

Stepping in Shit and Another Amazing Events

2008-06-07T11:32:00.000-07:00

So yeah...I guess it's been awhile.

I think I hit a point with my blog where I began to feel that I just had to post something, anything. And I didn't want to do that because I kind of hate those sort of blogs. "I ate pizza today." Well, good for you! I guess I was just waiting for something to happen that was actually worth writing about. In the immortal words of one B. Summers, I was waiting for "something to sing about."

Last Sunday, I decided to be productive and make my way over to Bed, Bath and Beyond. I had wanted to organize my closet a bit, and we were in serious need of a new shower curtain liner. So I put in my headphones and headed up 6th Ave. I happen to really love Bed and Bath. Everytime I go there I see about a million things I don't actually need, but just look REALLY cool. Like, I don't actually need a margarita maker, but honestly, how awesome would that be to have in your home? I'm kind of like a three year old. I get very distracted by shiny things.

I managed to get what I needed, and started to make my way to check out. One of the things about living in New York City is that you get used to the fact that people bring their dogs everywhere. For me personally, I have my limits. I won't ever bring Milo into a restaurant (kind of obvious, you'd think), nor would I bring him into any sort of major store, whether it be clothing, hardware, or oh, I don't know, Bed Bath and Beyond. You'd think that if you did feel the need to bring your dog with you into one of these stores, you'd keep an eye on them. I mean, it seems like common sense, at least to me. So you can imagine my surprise when on my way to check out, I stepped in dog shit.

For a moment, my only real emotion was complete and utter disbelief. Had I stepped in the poop outside of the store, yes, I would have been annoyed, but it would have seemed a little more logical. Stepping in shit by the coffee makers in BB&B couldn't really register in my tiny little brain. And now what? There appeared to be no managers anywhere, no bathrooms nearby. I had shit on my shoe. And I just wanted to take my pretty new shower liner and get the hell out of there. Herein lay my predicament. Did I make a scene, or just figure out how to go on without drawing too much attention to my situation? What did I choose to do? I chose to drag my foot along the ground, wiping the crap along the floor. Horrible, I know. And when I got up to pay, fearing I might stink, I stood a good 10 feet away from the cashier. As soon as I got out of the store, I stepped into a murky puddle and made my way back home, still completely baffled by what had just happened to me.

It's been said that stepping in shit is actually good luck. As I made my way home on Sunday, I couldn't quite see that being the case. Now, I'm beginning to think there might be something behind that old wives' tale. On Thursday, I went on a job interview. Thursday afternoon, I was given an offer by that job that I absolutely could not pass up, and will probably end up changing my life. And yesterday, I gave my notice at "Rhymes With the Cat." I've been trying to get out for so long, and apparently all it took was a little dog shit to make it happen. Go figure.

Question of the Week

2008-03-13T07:50:00.001-07:00

A few weeks back, I went out with a guy that I ended up having mixed emotions about. He was really nice, but I didn't think the attraction was there. But even so, I debated giving him a second date. So, we were talking the other day, and I'm not quite sure how it came up, but he informed me that he has the Macarena on his Ipod. This admission was met with stunned silence from me.

So the question is...would this be a total dealbreaker to you? Because my GOD it's completely one for me. There's just no good reason it should be there, not even for irony's sake. Granted, I have some rather embarrassing things on my Ipods, but nothing that even touches the Macarena's level of horror.

Now This is Happening

2008-03-12T12:33:00.001-07:00

I love this song. And I love Mike Nesmith. So sue me.

My Dog is Fat

2008-03-10T13:17:00.001-07:00

This is my dog.

My dog is fat.

I learned this on Saturday when I took him to the vet for his yearly check up. I take him to a vet on Long Island, mostly because it's cheaper than taking in the city, but also because this particular vet and her staff were particularly caring with Aristotle and have been great with the world's oldest dog, Mookie (who incidentally will be turning 19 in two days). Up until this point, I've felt just fine bringing Milo to her, and truth is I probably will still bring him to her. But she shamed me. And made me cry.

The last time Milo went in for his shots was in August, and he weighed 50 lbs. The vet informed me that this was a good weight for him, and all was well. I had noticed a little bit of a tummy on him (and on me, for that matter) but I chalked it up to winter time inactivity. Well, when Milo got on the scale on Saturday, he weighed a whopping 58 lbs. 8 lbs on me might cause some general pant-buttoning discomfort. On a dog, it's a lot.

We started talking about his eating habits-he's been really picky lately so I've been overcompensating by giving him a spoonful of wet food with his dry. She told me I should probably stop that, and just let him eat what's there. Then we talked about how the boo-boo he's had on his foot for a couple of month is due to his boredom. So the vet looked at me and said "What do you do for a living?" I told her, but then said that hopefully my employment situation would be changing by June. She then asked me if I had a dog walker. I told her that no, I didn't because I can't afford one. She looked at me like I'd just told her that I regularly set Milo on fire. I believe she actually said "really?" as if I was making this up. As if I'm hoarding money and I purposely have driven my dog to obesity and fits of boredom.

So...it looks like lighter food and more exercise for Dr. Milo M. Pup. Actually...looks like lighter food and more exercise for me as well. The truth is that I don't really move around as much during the cold weather. And I know once it warms up, we'll be out and about as usual. I'm basically just trying to get the vet's voice out of my head and assure myself that this dog is loved (good God is he ever) and is taken care of, and hopefully next time we go visit he'll be a trim 50 lbs once again.

One Ton of Fanmail

2008-03-06T13:23:00.000-08:00

I'm really bummed about Patrick Swayze. Really. So to cheer myself up, I found this. I'll see if I can find video later.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/90/90dfeud.phtml

A Sure Way...

2008-03-03T13:31:00.000-08:00

...to make sure I won't be contacting you on Jdate: Posting a picture of yourself with Criss Angel.

My subscription is up this week, and I am happy to go. If anyone has any suggestions on a better dating site, let me know, because I'm truly over this shit.

Why Yes...

2008-02-23T09:58:00.000-08:00

...I am watching the Jackass 24 Takeover on MTV, how did you know? Is it because I'm actually a 12 year old boy who finds this shit utterly hilarious? Yeah, that's probably it.

Speaking of Jackasses (and not the hilarious variety)....

Last night I went out to see the band Tandy play at Lakeside Lounge over in Alphabet City. I was mostly going to see my darling Abe, who along with the lovely Nicole has abandonded the rest of the Small Wigs and moved out to LA. I got there early to have drinks with my Lovah Matt. (Side note. Everytime I see my BMG friends I have the best time. I've known these people for maybe seven years and all of them have been some of the most consistent and loyal friends. I love them like crazy). I stayed for a few songs-Tandy is excellent, and I highly recommend checking out their stuff. As I was walking out I caught sight of a familiar face. It took me a second to realize it was Brian. I haven't seen him since I moved out. Watching him recognize me was truly a fascinating thing. Several emotions crossed his face-first recognition, then anger, then a slight hint of sadness and finally something that resembled terror, as if I was actually going to confront him. I did no such thing. I walked right past, leaving him to wonder. And I got this weird rush from ignoring him too. He doesn't even deserve me fighting with him.

And with that, back to watching Johnny Knoxville Nair one of the other Jackass guys' head.

My Best Friend

2008-02-20T09:13:00.000-08:00

Either Jen's hormones are out of control or she's smoking crack. Or perhaps it's a combination of both. To wit:

I was staring at the map of the NY subway system on my wall.

Have you ever noticed that NY looks like the male genitalia? Manhattan is the flaccid penis, with Queens and Brooklyn the testicles. I guess that would make Staten Island the ejaculate.

I Think I've Just Met "The One!"

2008-02-18T13:06:00.001-08:00

Recieved from Jdate only moments ago. I think he's the man of my dreams!

Hi How are you today? I just love bouth youre picture and Youre profile.
I like to go out to dinner and to the movie's. I like to travel and I like to lisen to all types of music. I wood just love to hear from you. Email me.
Jonathan

I think it's time to find a new dating site, don't you?

Stalking the WGA Picket Line, Part Two

2008-02-08T11:09:00.000-08:00

The Writers Guild was striking outside the Time Warner Center again. I just watched the following people walk around in circles:

Seth Meyers (looking insanely hot with a strike beard)

Rachel Dratch (cuter in person)

Michael Moore (fatter in person)

David Chase (creator of The Sopranos, 'nuff said)

Judah Friedlander (maybe he's stalking me)

and...

TINA FEY

I am officially in love with her. It's bad. I would have her babies if she asked. I told Kim that I might write her in on the Presidential ballot. Then I contemplated kidnapping her. I think I would have gotten trouble for that, though.

In Response to Tonight's State of the Union Address

2008-01-28T19:08:00.000-08:00

Sign that the End is Near

2008-01-27T19:17:00.000-08:00

"Meet the Spartans" was the number one movie in the country this weekend.

I have no words.

"Taco or Hot Dog?"

2008-01-23T15:01:00.000-08:00

And the answer is....

...and I am very happy.

I Watch TV

2008-01-21T09:50:00.000-08:00

And now, the latest installment of "I Watch TV!"

My latest find is the absolutely insane "Tim and Eric, Awesome Show, Great Job!" There's not really a great way to describe it other than total weirdness. Tim and Eric are clearly influenced by Python and Mr. Show (as evidenced by Bob Odenkirk's constant presence and the appearance from time to time of David Cross). They've created a slightly creepy and occasionally off-putting world where people who would normally only be found on public access live amongst the likes of Jeff Goldblum. My particular favorites include Jan and Wayne Skylar (the Only Married News Team) and everyone on the Uncle Muscles Show (as played by Weird Al), especially Casey and His Brother. "Tim and Eric" is definitely not for everyone, which is probably why I can't stop watching.

Here are two of my favorite moments from recent episodes. And of course neither features Tim or Eric.

Leggy Leggy Leggy Leggy

2008-01-19T10:22:00.001-08:00

The most played song on my Ipod, courtesy of Robyn's mix.

The More You Know!

2008-01-06T13:27:00.000-08:00

I was just out walking Milo, and I decided to head up to the Mud Truck and grab a cup of coffee while I was out. As we made our way back home, I was suddenly stopped by an old woman who said, "Miss, can I just say one thing to you?" Automatically I assumed she was going to start in about something regarding Milo, maybe that people around her building don't clean up after their dogs, or something to that effect. Instead, she informs me that I should NEVER walk and drink liquids at the same time. Apparently, this causes hypertension and diabetes. She then attempted to make an analogy regarding walking and drinking and diving into a swimming pool, but sadly (and unsurprisingly), it made little to no sense. However, you'll be thrilled to know that eating and walking is just fine! So I did what I always do when coming across a crazy person. I smiled, told her I'd take her advice into consideration, and hurried away, as she continued muttering to herself about how rich the hospitals were getting off of people like me.

Swingin' Hoff

2008-01-04T08:34:00.000-08:00

This picture has been bringing me joy all week.

Go to http://www.coedmagazine.com/entertainment/4344 for more Hoff related goodness.

Happy New Year, Y'all!

2008-01-01T16:45:00.001-08:00

For Jennifer-Lynn

2007-12-26T07:54:00.001-08:00

Because you insisted I update my blog, this is for you.

Because I am 12....

2007-12-06T11:42:00.000-08:00

...I saw this and laughed. And then bought it for Alanna for Christmas.

Sigh

2007-12-04T07:57:00.000-08:00

I just received the following IM on JDate. His name has been redacted to protect the stupid:

Him: I want to see you naked.

Now, just out of curiosity, what exactly was I supposed to do with that? Even if he was the most gorgeous thing to have ever walked the earth, did he really think I was going to get naked for him?

Sometimes, being on JDate is totally mind boggling. So far I've gotten a 25 year old who said he only dates older girls (weep) because he's "more on their level," a bi-sexual dude, and one who offered to "orally pleasure" me. Thankfully I've had a couple of good dates. Otherwise I'd probably go postal.

Lord Give Me Strength

2007-11-13T14:03:00.001-08:00

I joined JDate again.

It's like some drug I just can't kick. There's just this terrible pull that brings me back there. Maybe it's the fact that Aaron met Nicole there, or that other people I know have met their significant others on the site. Granted, I have met some very nice guys (the very sweet yet boring G, amongst others). But I've also met some incredible douchebags. I guess, if nothing else, it will provide fodder for this blog.

Seriously. Lord give me strength.

Om?

2007-11-11T12:43:00.001-08:00

Russell Simmons was just doing some yoga stretches outside of my apartment, after stepping out of a giant stretch limo with a model and two little girls who I assume are his kids. What do you think that means?

Stalking the WGA Picket Line

2007-11-08T10:20:00.000-08:00

Did I hit a new low today?

Let me just start by saying that I'm in full support of the Writers' strike. They do the work, they deserved to be paid. Seems to be common sense.

This morning I noticed that they had set up a picket line outside of the Time Warner Center. I went over to show my support. I don't really know how much I can do, so I took a flier (which is prominently displayed at my desk).

Being the celeb lover that I am, I knew that the glorious Tina Fey and several SNL castmembers had been picketing at 30 Rock earlier in the week, so I figured I might get some cool sightings on the line by me. After our meeting this morning, Kim and I went for coffee, and since she needed to check in on Williams-Sonoma, we decided to just peak at who was walking the line.

The first person to catch my eye was Tim Robbins. I recognized a few writers, a few character actors. I told Kim that I felt kind of bad just standing there and gawking, so we decided to head back up to the office.

And then I saw him.

Green jacket, shades, general hotness. It was the man of my dreams. It was David Duchovny.

Of course, all else sort of disappeared at that moment. Well, other than an intense desire to jump him. Thing is, it's not like I haven't seen him before. But the combination that he was A) supporting the cause B) Right near my office and C) Hot...well, this was just all too overwhelming. Needless to say I spent the next couple of hours feeling slightly hot and bothered.

Here's where I hit my low. I decided to return to the the line and stalk him. I mean, what's wrong with me? Here are these people marching for a real purpose, and all I want to do is drool over Mulder. I got mine when I walked back over there and he had gone. So I stood there, and stalked other celebs. There was Oliver Platt, and Seth Meyers and Fred Armisen (who I sat behind when I saw "King Kong" in the theater a couple of years ago).

Listen, there are definitely worse things I could have done. I mean, it's not like I bothered them. And like I said, I fully support them. I think they know people are going to stop and look. But I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to the fine folks of the WGA and SAG, and tell them that my staring at them is only with the best of intentions. (And in the future, please understand that if the deliciousness that is Duchovny is on your line, I will most likely be there again).

*UPDATE*
In reading some articles about the celebs who were on the line, I discovered that not only were they blessed with Duchovny, but Christopher Meloni and his Ass of Life also walked the line. Had I seen these two men in the same space at one time, I am fairly sure my head would have exploded.

Judah Friedlander Thinks I'm Awesome

2007-11-07T07:43:00.000-08:00

After posting a nice long diatribe about how New Yorkers leave celebrites alone, what do I go ahead and do on Saturday night? I get in the face of a celebrity. I am incredibly proud of myself.

I met up with Jamie, Melissa, and Jodi for some drinks on Saturday night near my apartment. I had a couple, and as I was staggering home, I noticed Judah Friedlander, the World Champion, standing in front of a comedy club near my place. I actually really like him-let's be honest, anyone who was in "American Splendor" and is on "30 Rock" can't be all that bad. So because I'd had a couple of Hoegaardens, I figured hey, Abby should see a picture of someone from "30 Rock" and I whip out my cellphone camera. In the back of my mind, Sober Jen told me to put my camera away, but Nicely Toasted Jen seemed to win out. He saw me taking the pic, and here was his reaction, luckily:

He did say hello to me, and I went a little batshit and started telling him how much I loved "30 Rock" (which I do). I then said "You're awesome!" He looked me straight in the eyes and said, totally deadpan, "No. YOU'RE awesome." You know, I kind of fell in love with him at that moment.

So it seems that I will harrass a celeb under the right circumstances. Those circumstances include but are not limited to being drunk with your friends. Sometimes I'm just really proud of myself.

I'M HUGE!!

2007-11-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

So here's how my week has gone.

-July 25, 2008-The release date for the new X-Files movie.

http://www.killermovies.com/x/xfiles2/news/705_The_X_Files_2_Going_For_July_25_2008_Release.html

-Joel Hodgson has announced that he and several of the MST3K founding fathers (including the most cuddly TV's Frank) are starting a new venture called "Cinematic Titanic."

http://www.cinematictitanic.com/

-Bob Odenkirk and David Cross have apparently submitted scripts-yes, more than one-to HBO.

http://www.bobanddavid.com/2007/10/bob_was_here_and_now_everythin.html#more

Basically, it's been this geek's dream week. I'm off to eat another Reese's Peanut Butter cup in celebration.

*And in a happy post-script to my last entry, Jen and all of my San Diego friends are safe and sound. So I should probably eat yet another Reese's to celebrate that as well.*

San Diego is Burning

2007-10-22T12:39:00.000-07:00

250,000 people are being evacuated. Jen and Alanna are just two of them. Carlos is staying behind for work. Jen and Peanut are heading out to Palm Springs with Yude and Molly. I feel better knowing they're going. Jamie is apparently far enough away that she's alright, but told me she had some ash on her car and could see the smoke in the sky. If it gets bad I know she'll go too.

San Diego has become one of my favorite places to visit, not just because the Archuletas have made their home there (and JSD too). I feel extremely relaxed each time I go out there-and that's tough to do with Alanna hitting the peak of the terrible two's (as I said to Jen last time I was out there, "You know what's going to be awesome? Three!"). It's just an amazing place to be, complete with zoos, wineries, and really great people. I've been lucky enough to become friends with Jen's friends (especially Yuderson, who when I said I might be coming back in the spring threatened me with bodily harm until I said that I would definitely be coming back in the spring). It feels like another home to me.

So as cheesy as it sounds, I'm thinking about the good people of San Diego right now, and hoping this gets under control as soon as possible. And I can't wait to be back out there in a few months.

I'm Not Stalking Mary-Louise Parker

2007-10-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

Really. I'm not. She just happens to live the next block over from me. And I tend to run into her as she's walking her children through the park. She's lovely. Tiny, pretty, and always wearing something I covet. Yet I'd never say a word to her. That's just the New York way. We see, we smile, we move on. My neighborhood is a hotspot for celebrity sightings. I see Philip Seymour Hoffman all the time. I saw Aida Tuturro and her adorable dog in the dog run. I've yet to see Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, however. Her I'm whatever about, but a Ferris sighting might be fun. And can I just take this opportunity to say that I must be the only woman in all of New York who couldn't give a shit less about the "Sex and The City" movie? I mean, was it really necessary? At this point, there's no reason to see it anyway because the press has printed about six million stills from the shoot everywhere. You know, I actually sort of didn't mind the show when it first came on, but by the end I was so sick of Carrie and her whining, and the only characters I really liked were Miranda and Steve.

But I digress.

In other news, it was a rather eventful weekend. Friday, after doing some store checks with Kim, we headed back to Hoboken to have some beers. I ended up getting rather sad and nostalgic for my Hoboken days. I really loved it out there. On the PATH back into the city I started to think about the fact that the person who lived there and the person I currently am are two different people, and there's a lot I miss about Hoboken-era Jen. Maybe I can work on finding that feeling again. Not sure. It might have left when D did.

Saturday, a large group of us made it out to Long Island for some pumpkin picking, pie eating and wine tasting. All-in-all it was a really fun day, and it was great to have the majority of my friends in one spot. Things are so different now. It's hard to get us all together these days. Everyone has their own lives....it all sounds so trite but I wish sometimes that we could be like we used to be. Just be able to pick up and go away for a weekend without any of the responsibilities of debt, marriages, relationships in general, big people jobs, and of course, children. Granted I probably wouldn't be saying that if I was in a relationship and spawning. I just think about how nice it would be to be able to call up some of my friends and say "come get a drink with me" and not have a litany of reasons why they can't. Just how life goes, I guess.

Which brings us to Sunday. I decided to call things off with G. It was a long time coming, since we've been involved for several months, and I've been bored for most of it. He's a really sweet guy, but there was no spark. I've had most of my friends tell me that I probably won't get butterflies everytime I start a new relationship. But I wanted something...anything at all! Put it this way: In most other relationships I've been in, at the end of a long day all I wanted to do was either call the guy up and tell him about the little details of my day or skip the phone call completely and go be with them. I cancelled plans with my friends to be with them. I was disappointed if the guy cancelled on me! With G, if he cancelled, I was anything but disappointed. Free night for me! I had plans with him on Friday, and about midway through my second drink with Kim I realized I had absolutely no desire to leave Hoboken and go see him-I wanted to stay with my friend. No offense to Kim, but I should have wanted to return to the city immediately to see him. It just wasn't there, and I tried, I really did, but the last thing I wanted to do was force it. There was also the fact that he seemed completely indifferent to me at times. I don't know if that was just his laid back/pseudo-stoner attitude, or maybe he just wasn't a PDA sort of guy. I just wanted some indication that he actually was into me. So when he called me on Sunday and I broke it to him that this wasn't working, I kind of hoped for something to indicate that maybe I was being hasty. A "I really liked hanging out with you." Or how about a simple "I like you!" Nothing. I think I regretted my choice for about a second. Now my attitude is, on to the next one. Maybe I should try double-dating with Mary-Louise Parker....

I Watch TV

2007-10-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

It's not a lie. I do in fact watch TV. A lot of it. I'm not ashamed. At this point, it's a badge of honor. My vast amount of useless knowledge has to come from somewhere, right? And it's not like I'm a shut in and that's all I do. I read too! Apparently I also write.

So from time to time I'm going to write about what I'm currently watching on TV. Again, there's a lot. But I'll pick and choose.

There hasn't been all that much in the crop of new shows that have caught my eye. I probably would have watched "Chuck," except I was so beaten over the head with ads for it that I was completely turned off. Aaron informed me that it was a good thing I'm not a football fan, because when "House" was about to come on a few years ago, all sports fans were apparently inundated with the same ad for my favorite TV doctor. I'm not sure why the ad people think this is a good strategy, but I guess it works since I read this morning that "Chuck" was picked up by the network.

The only two shows that even seemed remotely interesting to me were "Pushing Daisies" and "Dirty Sexy Money." "Pushing Daisies" was too colorful for me not to check out. The first episode, or the "Pie-lette" as it was so cleverly called, was fun. It's the story of a man who discovered as a child that he had an interesting gift-he could bring the dead back to life with one touch. There are several caveats, however (as there always are). They can only stay alive for one minute, or someone else has to die to take their place. And a second touch will kill them again, forever. It's very quirky-in fact, my first thought when watching it was that this was "Six Feet Under" on crack. My concern for this show is that it might be too cutesy for its own good, and the shtick might wear thin quickly. But I think I'll stick it out for a couple more episodes, if for no other reason that apparently Paul Reubens is going to be a guest star at some point.

"Dirty Sexy Money" was an instant draw based on the presence of both Peter Krause and Donald Sutherland. After loving Michael C. Hall as "Dexter" (one of my new favorites as well), I figured I should see what the other Fisher brother was up to. "Dirty Sexy Money" is a throwback to the nighttime soaps my parents used to watch: "Dynasty," "Dallas," etc. It's trashy, the performances are over the top, and I love it. I'd say my only issue is that I've been supremely spoiled by "Arrested Development." I'm comparing all of the characters to the Bluths. Two completely different shows, that's for sure.

So there you go, the first installment of what I'm sure will be a long running feature here at Binky the Doormat. I'm Jen, I Watch TV, and I'm proud of it.

Taste

2007-10-10T18:41:00.000-07:00

I started cooking again fairly recently. I wouldn't call myself a top notch chef by any stretch of the imagination. I'm great at following recipes, but I get nervous anytime I have to deviate from what's on the paper in front of me. Just last night I was trying to make chili using a recipe Nicole gave me, and I went into full panic mode when I couldn't find several of the ingredients listed on the page. But what I lack in flexibility I gain in enthusiasm. I consider any edible meal an achievement, as evidenced by my pure and utter joy when my chili came out quite well, thank you very much.

I stopped cooking a few years ago when my relationship ended, mostly because the memories were too painful. I absolutely loved cooking for D. I was a happy homemaker, pawing through recipe books, shopping for boxes of meats and vegetables from Fresh Direct, cooking extravagent meals and taking full delight in any compliment I received from him. I relished my hours in the kitchen. As far as I was concerned, a well cooked meal was an extension of how much I loved him.

When we broke up, that excitement for cooking shrivled up along with several other things I used to take simple pleasure in. Certain songs became too difficult to listen too (I still can't hear The Cure or Weezer without thinking of him), movies, TV shows, even restaurants...they were all him, and our relationship. Cooking represented something that I had done for us, and to do it for only me just seemed pathetic.

I made a half-assed effort to start cooking again in my old apartment, but Jay is a natural in the kitchen. I'd watch wide-eyed as he'd cook from scratch, throwing random spices into a pan in between pulls off his bowl, blasting his Ipod off the little travel speakers he has. Milo would wait patiently on the floor for Uncle Jay to drop anything, anything at all. He inspired me, but my attempts to contribute to the meals of our apartment just paled in comparison.

About a month or so ago, I was sitting in Aaron and Nicole's house and I noticed-don't laugh-a Kraft recipe magazine. It's some free thing she gets, but for whatever reason, just thumbing through the recipes, I got strangely inspired. Nicole signed me up for my own free Kraft magazine (which actually hasn't come yet) but for whatever reason, that got me going.

So, in the last few weeks I've started pawing through the recipe books again, buying boxes of food from Fresh Direct, and reveling in the pleasure it's giving me. Yes, I have Abby to sample my wares as well, but, no offense to her, this is for me. This is to show me I am allowed to love doing these things, that yes, I cooked for D, but hopefully someday I'll cook for someone else. And for now, I'm loving my time in the kitchen.

Welcome to Binky the Doormat

2007-10-10T08:47:00.000-07:00

So after having my MySpace account hacked twice, I decided to take this elsewhere. Maybe I'll have a little more freedom to write here as well. All I know is that I should be doing more writing (everyone tells me as much), so here I am, and here it is.

Why the title? Well, for starters, it's the title of an REM song. Look it up, listen to it, love it. It comes from my favorite REM album, the very underrated "New Adventures in Hi-fi." Dennis and I used to talk about having a "soundtrack to your life," and almost every song on New Adventures would be on my soundtrack. (Actually, "So Fast So Numb"=Dennis, so there you go).

Ok, I started it. More to come....